


If It's Meant To Be It Will Be. If It's Not, It Will Not Be.

by myblueworld



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-10-29 11:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10852662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myblueworld/pseuds/myblueworld
Summary: Alternate Universe.Steven Gerrard runs a detective agency that helps people finding out information about their soulmates.Philipp Lahm comes to see him and asks him to find as much information as possible about a librarian named Xabier, as Philipp has the name Xabier tattooed on his skin.Steven takes the job, thinking that it will be an easy one.A librarian? The worse thing that can happen is this Xabier person has some parking tickets.Surely this one will be an easy job, right?





	1. The Client

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrsalonso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsalonso/gifts).



> 1\. For Sandra :)  
> 2\. Based on a Tumblr prompt

It has never occurred to Stevie before, that he would ever meet Philipp Lahm in person. Especially in a setting where one of the most prominent figure in Lahm and Associates is sitting in front of him. As his _client_.

“So, Mr. Gerrard,” he says, his green eyes studying Stevie’s face.  “Do you think you can do this?”

Stevie chuckles.

“Just thinking that I can do this kind of job is not a good reason for me to start this agency, Mr. Lahm,” he says. “I _believe_ I can do this job. I have been doing this kind of job for the last 15 years.”

There is a faint smile on Philipp’s lips as he nods at Stevie’s confident remarks about himself. Like he is pleased to hear that

“Good,” Philipp says. “So I assume that the words that I’ve heard about you are indeed, reliable?”

Stevie leans forward from his black leather chair.

“Mr. Lahm, I don’t think a questionable reputation is what brings you here to see me, right?”

Once again, Philipp gives him that nods of appreciation.

“Anyway,” Stevie says as he leans back to his seat. “Now that I hope you trust me enough, let’s go back to the business, shall we?”

“Ah, yes.” Philipp rests his back on the chair as he slings his right leg over the other one. His right thumb flies to brush his wrist. A subtle movement. Maybe the man himself doesn’t even realize that he’s doing it. But from his years of experience, Stevie finds that most, if not all, people will tend to touch the name tattooed on their skin whenever the topic of their soulmates comes up to the conversation. Sometimes Stevie wonders whether he would do the same thing too. The destiny of not having anyone bonded to him as his soulmate, which means no name is tattooed on his skin, it has made him unable to feel some of the sensation that is common for other people. Not that Stevie is upset or anything about it. He’s not even really care about it anymore. Sometimes he’s just curious. That’s all.

“So, the name of the person that supposed to be bound to me… Well, it’s not exactly a common name in Germany,” Philipp says. “It’s more like a Spanish name.”

“And…what is this Spanish name?”

“Xabier.”

Philipp’s hand flies to his arm again.

 _Xabier_ , Stevie repeats the name quietly. Yes, Philipps is right. It’s not a common name to be found in German.

But Stevie likes that name.

 _Xabier_.

“And due to that…I always assume that I will meet this soulmate of mine,” he stops, then makes a vague gesture with his hand. “Maybe in another country. Maybe in a business trip. Or vacation.”

Stevie nods. Even though he almost doubts that Philipp Lahm is someone who can willingly take some days off from his busy schedule to have a vacation.

“But a few days ago, my cousin, Thomas, he went to this library and….” Philipp pauses and cringes a little. Almost like he is having a second-hand embarrassment from just thinking about this cousin. He clears his throat before he continues.

“Well, Thomas has always been a clumsy person. So long story short, there was this incident that involves him, a librarian and a cup of coffee. That incident lead to the said librarian had to lift his wristband and…” Philipp pauses again.

As Stevie has not taken his eyes off his new client, he can see how Philipp’s cheeks are flushed with a brighter shade than before.

“Well, Thomas said that the word Philipp is written on the inner part of this librarian’s arm,” Philipp says. He shifts a little on his seat.

Stevie finds it a bit amusing that the lawyer doesn’t seem to look too excited about it. He even looks uncomfortable. Stevie starts to wonder whether it is some kind of a natural instinct for lawyers to get uncomfortable when it comes to love and relationship and those kind of craps.

“And don’t you think that it’s just… such a bizarre coincidence that the librarian’s name is… Xabier?”

Stevie raises an eyebrow, but then he nods.

“Mr. Lahm, you might find it a bizarre. But believe me, I have seen more bizarre coincidence before.”

“Ah, yes,” Philipp gives him a stiff smile. “You and your experience with this agency.”

“So, what do you want me to do?”

Philipp lets out a long sigh.

“Mr. Gerrard, with my position in the law firm, and in my professional career in general, I am sure you know that I have a reputation. And I’ve earned it. Fair and square. I’ve worked hard to earn it.”

Stevie nods. He might not know Philipp Lahm personally. But he knows that as the first son in the family, Philipp Lahm is expected to continue the flawless reputation of the law firm that his great grandfather has established a long time ago.

“People can say that there are times when we should expect for the unexpected, Mr. Gerrard,” Philipp continues. “But when it comes to my life, be it professional or personal life, I’d prefer to be prepared to whatever that comes in the way.”

“I can understand that” Stevie nods again.

And it makes sense. It’s totally making sense (and unsurprising, if Stevie may add) that someone like Philipp Lahm wants to know all the details about someone that he supposed to spend the rest of his life with, even before meeting them.

“Good,” Philipp locks his eyes at Stevie. “So I want you to find everything, and I mean everything, every single thing, about this librarian.”

“Xabier,” Stevie says without really thinking about it. “That’s his name, right?”

Somewhere at the back of his mind, Stevie finds that he likes the way that name rolls on his tongue.

 _Xabier_.

“Yes, Mr. Gerrard. Xabier.”

Steven gives Philipp one of his confident smiles. “Very well, then.”

“Do you think you can do that in thirty days from now?”

Stevie has to hold himself from snorting.

Thirty days?

He can do it in _three_ days! Besides, a librarian doesn’t sound like a risky profession. To be honest, Stevie thinks librarian is one of the most boring professions ever.

If this Xabier person chooses to be a librarian, Stevie doubts that he will find anything worse than some parking tickets on his record.

But well, if that’s what his client wants. And of course, who will complain about getting a thirty-day worth of payment for a job that he can do in three days?

So Steven nods, still wearing his best professional smile.

“Come back in thirty days, Mr. Lahm. And you will have all that you want to know.”


	2. The Librarian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie meets the subject of his investigation. A librarian that goes by the name Xabi Alonso.

Philosophy.

Stevie cannot think of an honest, practical reason of why he picked a book on philosophy.

He could have chosen a more neutral book. Something like biography. That new book from Zlatan Ibrahimovic sounds interesting.

Or maybe, he knows what the reason is.

He wants to look smart. Not that he is not smart, though. Duh. What good is he as a detective if he’s not smart?

But _being smart_ and _wanting to look smart_ in front of someone, well, those are two differet kind of thing.

And damn, that librarian slash his subject of investigation that goes by the name Xabier?

He looks smart.

And _attractive_.

Stevie didn’t even plan to borrow a book from the library. Let alone trying to impress Xabier. After getting the information from all the documents that he can get on about Xabier Alonso, he decided to go and see this librarian by himself.

Not because Xabier looks so damn attractive in the pictures. No. Of course not. What kind of reason is that?

As a professional detective with years of experience, everybody knows that getting information by himself, through some direct interaction with the subject of investigation is often more reliable.

Yes.

That’s the reason.

That is why Stevie is now standing in front of the circulation desk, waiting for Xabier to process the book that he is going to borrow.

No. Of course Stevie is not adoring that neatly trimmed beard of Xabier. Or how those strong jaw bones of Xabier framing his face perfectly.

No. Stevie is just making sure that the pictures that he has from his previous investigation fit this person.

“It’s due on May 14th, Mr. Gerrard.”

Damn. That deep voice sounds like the voice of a perfect gentleman being featured in GQ magazine.

“Uh. Yeah. Uhm,” Stevie takes the book that Xabier is handing out to him.

Once he has the book, Stevie shifts his weight from the balls of his feet to his toes.

“Do… Do you… think…it’s a good one?”

Tilting his neck, Xabier looks at Stevie. One of his eyebrows slightly curled up. There is a faint, vague smile on his lips.

“What do you mean?”

Stevie clears his throat. “This book… I mean… Is it a good one? For a… You know… beginner?”

Xabier’s lips round into a small silent _O_.

“So, I am assuming that you are just starting? In philosophy?”

“Uh. Yes. Yeah. Kind of.”

Xabier holds his eyes at Stevie’s as he tilts his head to the left. The smile still lingers on his lips. Barely visible, but still there.

“Well, Mr. Gerrard…”

“Stevie. Just… you can call me Stevie,” Stevie’s stuttering words cut Xabier’s. Against his will, Stevie’s cheeks start burning.

Xabier nods. “Stevie,” he says with a small hint of amusement in his voice. “This is indeed a good book to read for a start in philosophy. Why don’t you read this first, and then once you finish, you can come back again and tell me what aspect you want to know more.  Then maybe, I can help you find some other books that will suit your interest.”

Xabier stops. Like he is giving some time for Stevie to think about his words.

For a moment, Stevie says nothing. Simply because he can’t say anything. Simply because he gets himself trapped in those brown caramel eyes.

Stevie’s absence of response, however, makes that vague smile disappears. It morphs into a small stiff smile as Xabier draws himself back from the desk that he was slightly leaning on.

“But of course. Only if you are interested in-“

“Oh, I do!” Stevie says hastily, almost terrified of losing the opportunity to get to know Xabier better than just as a librarian behind the circulation desk.

Stevie’s whole face is practically on fire as he looks at the way Xabier’s eyebrows raised up. The amused smile is back again on his lips now.

“I mean.. Yeah… That… That would be nice…” Stevie is back on stuttering at his words again. “I… Yeah.. Would be nice… If you can… Help me.”

Xabier’s lips curl up higher.

“So,” Stevie clears his throat again. His eyes dart to the small yellowish plate on Xabier’s shirt. “Uhm… Xabier?”

“You can call me Xabi. Most people do,” the librarian says. “it’s easier,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

Stevie’s grip on the book gets tighter. He tries to stretch his lips, praying that he looks like he is smiling instead of cringing awkwardly.

“So.. I… I guess..” he lifts the book in his hand a little. “I… I’ll read this one first, yeah? And… I’ll tell you.. I mean.. I’ll… I will come back and… You know…”

“I will help you find other books that you might like,” ~~Xabier~~ Xabi says, saving Stevie from embarrassing himself further.

“Yeah. That’s what I mean.”

Stevie gives himself a pat on the back to finish a simple sentence without stuttering in front of Xabi.

“Okay,” Xabi nods again. “I am looking forward to see you again, then, Stevie.”

The combination of that small charming smile and the implying message in Xabi’s words makes Stevie’s brain stops functioning.

With his heart running a hundred mile per hour he abruptly turns on his heels, and walks away from the circulation desk.

Too busy cursing himself for being a complete idiot, Stevie doesn’t see Xabi staring at his back. There is a small amused smile on his lips as he watches Stevie makes his way to the front door of the library.

 

**[*]**

 

It takes four days for Stevie before he can brace himself to go back to the library.

And yes. He read the book. He actually did read the book. He even made some notes about the book. You know. Just in case Xabi asks about something from the book.

And reading the book is not the only preparation that Stevie had before he came to the library and meet Xabi.

He creates some imaginary conversation between him and Xabi (that he may or may not have rehearsed in front of the mirror) to make sure that he won’t become a stuttering mess again in front of Xabi.

But all those imaginary conversations in his head suddenly just disappear into the void once he walks to the circulation desk and Xabi lifts his head up, meeting his eyes.

It takes only one look. One smile.

One look and one smile from Xabi, and Stevie’s brain just freezes again.

“Oh, hello, Stevie. Nice to see you again.”

Stevie licks his lower lip as he puts the book on the desk, then slowly pushes it towards Xabi.

“Can you…” he stops, licking his lower lip again as he tries to pull himself together. “You… Do you have… other suggestion?”

Xabi’s lips are still curling up as a small smile as he takes the book. “So. Do you like the book?”

Stevie nods. “It’s quite interesting.”

“Starting to get interested to the subject of philosophy, then… I suppose?”

“I.. Kind of. It’s… a bit hard to digest sometimes. The subject. But interesting.”

Xabi nods but has his eyes on the computer screen as he types something.

A fear hits Stevie. When he said that it’s hard to digest, was he implying that he’s stupid?

“But… I… I mean.. “ Stevie gulps. “I think I just need to…read more.. Yeah? About the subject?”

Xabi cranes his head a little to look at Stevie.

“Sure thing. Reading will surely a very good thing to do if you want to know more about something, yes?”

“Uh… Yeah.”

There is a pause as Xabi puts the book away on a cart next to him. But then he looks at Stevie, with that charming smile again. He folds his arms on the desk.

“But you know what other thing that can also help us learning more about something?”

Stevie cocks his head to the left, and waits for Xabi to continue.

“You can always talk about it with someone else,” Xabi says again. He flashes a small smile at Stevie before he goes back typing on his computer.

Stevie bites his lower lip as he watches Xabi, who still has his eyes on the screen.

“Canitalkaboutitwithyou?” Stevie says in one single breath.

Xabi stops typing. There are some creases on his forehead as he stares at Stevie, looking slightly confused.

“Excuse me?”

Stevie takes a deep breath.

“Can I talk about it? With you?”

The confused expression instantly changed into a surprised one as Xabi raises his eyebrows.

“I.. I mean… You seem.. I… I just… I think you know a lot? About philosophy?”

Xabi chuckles lightly. “Stevie, I am a librarian. Not many people realize that, but as a librarian, I kind of know a thing or two about a wide variety of subjects,” he says. He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s part of the job.”

“Can I, then?” Stevie asks again, bracing himself to lock his eyes with Xabi’s. “Talk with you about it?”

Xabi stays silent for a second or two while returning Stevie’s looking at him. Then he smiles. He moves to pull a paper out from the printer.

“Sure you can,” he says, and gives the paper to Stevie. “Here’s a list of some books that might be interesting if you want to learn more about philosophy. And when you find some that you want to read, you can come back to check it out and maybe…arrange where and when…we can talk?”

Stevie takes the paper. He doesn’t realize that he’s grinning when he nods at Xabi.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Half an hour later, he walks to his car with three books, Xabi’s number listed in his phone, and a promise to meet again tomorrow in a small coffee shop near the library.

**[*]**

Philosophy is not the only thing that Xabi _kind-of-knows-a-thing-or-two-about_. After that some sort of date in the coffee shop (Stevie is still hesitant to have his hopes up by calling it as a real date), and some more of those some-sort-of-dates, Stevie finds that Xabi knows a lot of things about any subject that Stevie can think to talk about.

And Stevie likes it. Stevie likes Xabi’s deep, accented voice. Stevie likes the light in Xabi’s eyes when he gets passionate about the thing that they are talking about. Stevie likes the crinkles at the corner of Xabi’s eyes when he laughs. And the way Xabi listens to him when it’s Stevie who’s doing the talking. The way Xabi asks him questions and the light banters in their conversation.

Stevie likes the way Xabi makes the world a bit brighter, and his chest a bit lighter.

They talk about anything and everything.

But there is one thing that Stevie doesn’t want to talk about.

His job.

Because talking about his job reminds Stevie about the first reason, and supposed to be the only one, of why Stevie had his encounter with Xabi anyway.

And Stevie wants to forget about it. At least he doesn’t want to remember about it when he is with Xabi.

There’s that one time when Xabi asked him about what Stevie is doing for a living.

Stevie didn’t lie. He told Xabi that he has private detective agency, and thus, it’s better not to talk about Stevie’s job. All the confidentiality and stuff, Stevie said.

Xabi only crooked an eyebrow as he lifted his cup up and sipped his coffee. Then he started talking about how glad he is about Klopp being the new manager of Liverpool. And Stevie knew that Xabi got it.

They never talk about Stevie’s job anymore.

 

**[*]**

Stevie’s job is not the thing that eventually reminds him about what supposed to be Stevie’s motive on getting to know more about Xabi.

It was Xabi’s question.

They are sitting in that small coffee shop again, in what happens to be their sixth sort-of-date.

“Can I ask you something?”

Stevie raises one of his eyebrows. “Yeah. Sure.”

“But you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to,” Xabi says, sounding a bit careful this time.

Stevie chuckles. “Okay. Just ask.”

“You don’t have any name tattooed on your skin?”

Stevie’s hand moves in reflex to touch his wrist. The place where a name supposed to be written on his skin.

He forces himself to smile as he shakes his head lightly. “No,” he says. “No, I don’t.”

“Oh,” Xabi says. There is an unreadable expression on his face. “Okay,” he says, and he looks down, looking at the black liquid in his cup as he stirs it absently.

Stevie’s eyes dart to Xabi’s wrist, where the small leather wristband covering some part of Xabi’s skin.

“You have one,” Stevie says. Not a question. Just a plain statement.

When Xabi lifts his head up, meeting Stevie’s eyes, there is a soft, dreamy look in his eyes.

A soft look that feels like a sharp dagger in Stevie’s chest.

“I do,” Xabi says. I just…” he pauses and looks away. Stevie watches him. The cold sharp dagger stabs his chest again when he sees the way Xabi is gazing longingly at something from the window.

“I just haven’t met him yet,” Xabi says as he turns his head back to look at Stevie.

Stevie nods.

“You know...” Xabi starts but pauses. He licks his lower lip and there is a faint crimson shade tints his cheeks. He shakes his head.

“Never mind,” he mumbles as he looks away to the window again.

“What is it?”

Xabi looks back at Stevie with a kind of smile that Stevie has never seen on him before. A shy smile.

“You will think that I sound stupid.”

Stevie shakes his head. “No. Of course I won’t.”

Xabi can say the most idiotic nonsense ever and Stevie will still think that he is the most amazing man anyway.

“I… I think… I have a feeling that I am going to meet him. Soon.”

A steel fist clenches Stevie’s heart.

“Oh? Really?”

Somehow Stevie is glad that Xabi’s eyes are now fixed on his wristband, that he is tracing slowly with his finger.

“It’s… A few weeks ago, there is this…guy. Somehow he managed to knock his coffee all over the circulation desk,” he stops and chuckles. “So I was trying to clean myself when I had to lift my wristband.”

Xabi slowly looks up at Stevie again. “Then the guy…. He… He’s kind of making some…funny noises. And when I looked at him about to ask whether he was okay, he looked at me and said…”

Something is swelling inside Stevie’s throat, he can barely breathe.

“What did he say?”

The smile on Xabi’s face is so soft like it is painted in watercolors. “He pointed at my wrist and said that…It’s his cousin’s name…”

If those Greek mythologies were true, Stevie thinks that Zeus himself is stabbing him with his lightning bolt.

“And? What happened then?”

“Nothing,” Xabi shakes his head, his face falls into a slightly grim expression. “That guy just turned around and walked away. I… I only saw him calling someone with his phone as he walked to the door.” Xabi shrugs his shoulders, looking almost defeated. “I didn’t have a chance to ask any question to him.”

Stevie should have said something. Something to comfort Xabi. Something to make a smile comes back to Xabi.

 But he can’t find anything to say, so he can only whisper.

“I’m sorry…”

Xabi flashes a smile at Stevie.

“It’s fine… It’s just… ever since that…incident, I start to have this strong feeling that I will meet him soon.”

Stevie bites his lower lip.

“Do you…,” Stevie stops to take a deep breath. “Have you…ever imagined? About… how he would be?”

It sounds like a silly and childish question. But Xabi smiles nonetheless. And as long as it’s something that can make Xabi smiles, Stevie doesn’t care how silly and childish he might sound.

“His name… Is… A very classic one,” Xabi says as he starts running is hand again over his wristband. “It’s like the name of a prince in a fairy tale.”

 Stevie has no idea why he has the strength to smile as he nods at Xabi, encouraging him to continue.

“And? How do you imagine he is? Like a prince charming?”

Stevie almost laughs bitterly. Because yes. Oh yes, he can totally imagine Philipp Lahm as a prince charming. He wouldn’t even surprise if Philipp actually has a white horse in his stable, in the backyard of his mansion that is being featured in the last glossy magazine of the socialites.

Philipp Lahm is indeed, a prince charming.

And Steven Gerrard is not.

Xabi gives him another small shy smile.

“Kind of. I imagine him to be a… “ Xabi stops and makes some vague gestures with his hand. “A man with high confidence, eloquent way of speaking, charming.”

Confidence? Checked.

An eloquent way of speaking? With Lahm’s profession as a lawyer? Double checked.

Charming?

Another checked mark.

It takes all that is left inside of him, but Stevie manages to smile, as sincere as he can be, at Xabi.

He carefully places his hand over Xabi’s hand.

He might have gone too far. But Stevie knows that his days of meeting Xabi are numbered now. Besides, Xabi doesn’t pull his hand away anyway from his.

“Well, I hope you will meet him soon,” Stevie says softly.

_He knows that Xabi will meet Philipp soon._

“And I hope that he will be as charming as you have imagined him to be.’

_He knows that Philipp Lahm is a perfect prince charming for Xabi Alonso._

Xabi smiles back at him.

“Thank you, Stevie,” he says. “Thank you.”

 

**[*]**

Stevie sits with his back leans against the headboard of his bed. He’s been sitting in that position for more than half an hour. Stevie sighs. He turns his torso to the left, and bites his lower lip as he reaches out for a pen from the nightstand. He carefully writes on his own wrist under the dim light coming from the night lamp on the nightstand.

Once he finished with the last letter, he puts the pen back, then he stares at his own handwriting.

Stevie traces the black ink staining his skin, as he’s quietly reading the name he’s just written there.

_Xabier._

Stevie closes his eyes, but the letters are dancing before his eyelids.

_Xabier._

He opens his eyes again, staring at those letters again.

_Xabier._

He falls asleep with his hand over the handwriting on his wrist.


	3. The Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie is in love. But he doesn't need a soulmate. What for?

If only there’s an easy way to get amnesia.

The closer it is to the date where Philipp has his next appointment with Stevie, the more desperate Stevie is. He tries to forget about the date. But as the days pass by, the more Stevie realizes that he has to face the truth.

So here he is now, sitting in his office, staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

He doesn’t want to think.

Because if he’s thinking, he knows for sure that he’s not supposed to feel this way.

Then again, trying not to think can’t stop flashes of memories about the times that he has spent with Xabi for the last few weeks reeling in his mind.

The sound of the intercom on his table jolts him back to reality.

“Stevie? Mr. Lahm is here.”

Stevie closes his eyes and exhales heavily.

He leans a little and answers his secretary. “Send him in, Hendo. Thanks.”

Less than a minute later, Stevie hears a soft knock on the door.

“Come in!”

The door swings open, and Philipp walks in. His black suit and a red silk tie making him look sharp and elegant as usual. Like the modern kind of prince charming.

Stevie stands up and forces himself to smile.

“Mr. Lahm. You’re on time, as expected.”

Philipp gives him a polite smile. “And you have your investigation concluded, I supposed?”

It’s getting harder for Stevie to keep smiling. He gestures to the leather chair in front of his desk.

“Have a seat, please, Mr. Lahm.”

“Thank you.” Philipp nods as he takes a seat.

Stevie sits and starts wondering how he should start a conversation that he’s been dreading. But Philipp cuts his hesitation.

“I see that you have taken some more…” he pauses as he gestures vaguely with his hand. “A more personal approach in doing your investigation about Xabier.”

“Xabi,” Stevie says without thinking about it.

For a split second, Philipp’s eyebrows raise in some sort of curiosity.

Stevie clears his throat.

“That’s… That’s how he wanted people to call him.”

Philipp nods.

“Ah,” he said. “One of the things that you found out from your investigation, I suppose?”

Stevie clears his throat again. “Yeah.”

“So,” Philipp said. He slings his leg so now he is sitting with crossed legs. His back resting against the seat, one of his arms is draped over the headrest of the chair as he looks at Stevie expectantly. “How is it?”

Stevie has to hold himself away from Philipp, because he honestly doesn’t want to talk about it. Not to Phillip. But he knows that Philipp will probably notice any suspicious gesture from him. It takes so much from him, but Stevie manages to hold his eyes right at Phillip.

He stays silent for a while. There are so much that he can talk about Xabi. But at the moment, Stevie can’t really make himself start doing so.

After a few seconds, he takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out in a long sigh.

“Mr. Lahm, do you like dogs?”

For the second time, Phillip’s eyebrows raised up in surprise.

“Well, yeah. I do in fact have a dog.”

“Good,” Stevie nods. “Because Xabi likes dogs, and he has been wanting to have one as a pet.”

“Oh?”

“If you’re planning to ask him out, I suggest a coffee shop as the place that you should go to for a date,”

 _Date_.

That word that used to be so meaningless for Stevie suddenly tastes so bitter.

_A date._

_A proper date._

It’s something that he will never have with Xabi.

It’s something that Xabi will soon have.

With someone else. Someone who is staring at Stevie in front of him.

“Xabi likes coffee. He likes it black.”

_And he always drinks it properly. Taking a slow sip, inhaling the scent, letting the taste burning his tongue pleasantly._

Philipp makes a small humming noise. “Nice. Thank you for the advice.”

A mixed of emotions that Stevie can’t recognize dangerously starts bubbling inside Stevie, he feels like he can explode anytime. So he stands up, and walks to the filing cabinet. It takes only two seconds for him to find the folder labeled **_Alonso, Xabier_** in the first drawer. He takes it out and starts going through the papers and notes inside the folder.

He can’t sit down. He needs to keep on moving. Otherwise, he’ll break down and cry.

He paces back and forth between the filing cabinet and his desk. He pointedly keeps his eyes on the papers in the folder, even though he already knows by heart all the facts about Xabi kept in that folder.

“The topic of classic cars can be a starter for a conversation, Xabi loves Mercedes Benz,”

_It’s one of his dream car. Having a Mercedes is actually one of the things in Xabi’s bucket list._

“But you’ll find out that you can actually talk with about anything,” Stevie stops and flashes a tight smile at Philipp. “Are you a collector of any kind of things, Mr. Lahm?”

“Excuse me?”

Stevie lifts his head up from the folder to look at Philipp. “Do you collect anything as a hobby? Stamps? Coins?”

“Ah…” Phillip says with a small smile. “I do. I collect watches.”

It’s like someone has just punched the air from Stevie’s lungs. He stretches his lips into a stiff smile.

“What a nice coincidence. Xabi also likes watches.”

“Really?” Phillip leans forward a little, looking pleasantly surprised. “That’s interesting.”

Stevie quickly looks back at his folder.

“He likes outdoor activities. Something like camping or hiking will be a good idea for a getaway,” Stevie says as he continues pacing.

“Oh, you might want to take him skiing, someday. He loves it but it’s been quite a while since the last time he went skiing,” Stevie says, flashing a quick glance at Philipp.

He goes on for another five minutes, rambling some trivial facts about Xabi, things about Xabi that he has picked up from their coffee times together.

Finally, he sighs and closes the folder. He walks back to his chair and sits there. Stevie places the folder on the desk, slowly pushes it towards Philipp.

“He’s a good guy, Mr. Lahm.”

_Xabi is a perfect guy._

He rests his back against the leather chair.

“He’ll be a perfect soulmate for you.”

_Xabi has been dreaming for a perfect soulmate. He’s been dreaming of someone like you._

He watches as Philipp leans forward and takes the folder.

Philipp shuffles through the files inside it, slightly smiling.

“Very well, then,” Philipp says as he closes the folder. “Now I can see why you have gained such a good reputation.”

Stevie smiles. Usually that is the kind of comment that he will elegantly accept with a confident, slightly proud smile. But this time he can barely manage a hollow smile.

Phillip stands up from his seat.

He extends his hand for a handshake, that Stevie takes almost hesitantly.

“Thank you very much, Mr. Gerrard. You’ve done a good job.”

"It’s a pleasure, Mr. Lahm.”

 

Half an hour after Philipp left the room, Stevie is still sitting on his chair, gazing at the sky from his window. He takes a deep breath, and lets out a long sigh.

He looks down at his wrist, and slowly traces it.

He knows he doesn’t need any name written there. Not anymore.

What’s the point of having a soulmate when Stevie no longer has a soul now?

 

*******

Stevie feels like a loser.

It’s been three months.

Yet here he is, speeding by the café where he first had his coffee-session together with Xabi.

And for three months he’s been telling himself that someday he’ll understand. Someday he’ll understand why they are not meant to be together. Why they are just meant to meet without destined to be together.

Someday.

Not today.

It’s been three months.

And Xabi is still in his dream. In his thought. On his mind.

Stevie parks his car right in front of the cafe's, where he can see the inside of the cafe from its window.

From the window of his car, Stevie can see Xabi and Philipp are sitting across each other, right by the window.

It’s Xabi’s favorite spot to sit. By the window. Because he likes seeing people that pass by the window.

Stevie stares at the two guys.

One doesn’t have to be a romantic to see how smitten Phillip with Xabi, or the adoring look in Xabi’s eyes as he stares back at Philipp.

One must have been a fool to not see how much the two guys are in love with each other.

And Stevie is not a fool.

He is a heartbroken man, but he’s not a fool.

Stevie looks down at his wrist.

It’s okay.

He doesn’t need a soulmate.

What for?

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make it clear, I have nothing against librarian. I personally think it's a very cool job.


End file.
